I can't think of a clever title, so I'm just going to make an old school horn noise: AWOOOOOOOGA!!!

In the last two weeks, I attempted several paleo meals with 90% success! All of my meals came from PaleOMG and they were REALLY GOOD, with the exception of one. I made Honey Dijon Pistachio Encrusted Steak, and it was REALLY GOOD. I also made Bacon and Spinach Stuffed Chicken and it was also REALLY GOOD. The last thing from that blog I made was Beef Spare Ribs and it was NOT REALLY THAT GOOD, BUT OK. Honestly, I am pretty sure it was an ID10T error, as my crockpot was turned up too high and it sucked all the juices out of the ribs and made them dry as the bones they were stuck to. I followed the recipe exact, but I think if I had made 3X as much sauce it would have been better.

Also turned down the heat.

Ok, moving on!

Riding that there paleo train, I also joined a gym that's basically called "Edge (not quite Cross Fit but Kinda Like Cross Fit) Performance Fitness". I have been to two classes so far and I gotta say, it's pretty damn amazing. It's not an open gym like 24 Hour where you just go whenever and work out by yourself. There are group sessions at designated times with a trainer who watches and corrects/makes adjusments as necessary. There are usually several stations that each person spends a couple of minutes at and then rotates. And it kicks my ASS! You guys, I'm gonna get buff so fast. It's hard to get into a routine, however, especially considering what a busy person I am. I'm learning to make time for the gym, and hopefully soon I'll be there 4 days a week. Now if I can only work on that self control in the office, when days like today happen and I have easy access to homemade cinnamon rolls, cookies, and homemade pumpkin cake stuff. Days at my office are going to totally negate my days at the gym and those jelly rolls are gonna stay firmly slapped onto my sides.

Not to mention, my station partner in crime was an old dude, estimated age between 78-202 and that badass was charging up the stairs, throwin' dem' ropes, and pounding that medicine ball better than most of the younguns in the joint. I was shamefully shamed, in the most shameful way. I'd like to say I was inspired, but I wasn't. I was shamed.

This weekend, myself, Rowan, and my bro and his wife are stuffing ourselves in a rental car and driving down to southern Idaho for my grandma's birthday. And by stuffing, I mean sitting comfortably in an Infiniti M37. Yep, we picked that little number up last night and I gotta say, it is PLUSH. I am hella excited to drive that thing for 16 hours this weekend, and I don't say hella, EVER.

Go ahead. Bask in it's glory. BASK IN IT, I TELL YOU!

It is by far the nicest car I have ever driven. Now, how am I going to convince the ol' ball n' chain to buy one for me?

In the roller derby world, things are moving steadily but surely. I'm eternally happy that I can finally get to practice every week. We were invited down to SoCal to bout against the Renegades down there, and I really want to go, but I'm unsure how I'm going to get there. I think it would be fun to go with Mo and have a pleasant weekend in another city but plane tickets are OUTRAGEOUS! If we can swing a last minute fundraiser to go, I may be able to. But I get the feeling I'm sitting this one out. Boo.

Until next time, puppies.

My foray into paleo, toddler past life regression, itchy skin flakes, and other boring things no one wants to read about

Whenever I see a bandwagon of any kind, my natural tendency is to RUN. RUN FAST THE OTHER WAY. Being a 4 on the enneagram, I also tend to get highly superior about avoiding said bandwagons and tend to proclaim this loudly in case anyone didn't hear me the first 8 times I said it.

I also tend to be highly annoying.

That being said, I have avoided the whole Crossfit/paleo phenomenon as long as I could.

"Crossfit is a cult." I said.

"Paleo is unhealthy and boring and expensive." I said.

I was so tired of seeing posts by friends who started crossfit, as it seemed like EVERY FUCKING POST was about Crossfit, and what they lifted that day, and other numbers that made sense to nobody. And they were all accompanied by that stereotypical picture of them posing next to a chalkboard with those same ridiculous, non sensical numbers, usually flexing. Wonderful, you are the best at exercising. Get over it already. (are you sensing that superiority yet?)




Today, the only thing stopping me from joining Crossfit is money. I honestly can't afford the monthly payments they want. Say whatever about Crossfit people, they get results.

However, one thing I've tentatively started trying is paleo. After reading about the extensive health benefits of this lifestyle, I'm slowly working my way into it. After gaining over ten pounds since the beginning of the year, I definitely need to do something that I can lose weight in a healthy way and support my athletic lifestyle. (Yes, derby girls are athletes. We train with the best of them and we drink with the best of them. You can do both. I said so.)

Grains, even whole grains, wreck havoc on your system. They cause all sorts of allergies and gut problems, not to mention your body basically treats grains like sugar and they spike your glucose level, only burning the carbs and not the fat in there.

I know myself better than to immediately jump into this, as I am wont to do. I've been browing paleo websites looking for recipes that are easy and don't have any crazy ingredients that will go to waste in case I hate the food. I found a great paleo blog called PaleOMG and I'm learning you can eat paleo and not want to stab yourself repeatedly in the mouth with a hot fork just to taste SOMETHING. I'm going to try her recipes and see how it goes. I will update this blog regularly, because I know that is what people really want to read, all the things I ate.

Also I'm lying about that last bit.

Moving on, I've been thinking a lot lately about some of the strange shit Rowan says to me. Granted, he's only 4.5 so he says a LOT of strange shit.

Gems such as "I named my poop Larry!" and "

But a couple of things he's said made me really re-think my opinions about reincarnation. I don't want to get all hippy dippy on everyone, but really, is this a possibility? Or is my weird kid just getting weirder... at any rate, he's said random stuff like "One time, when I was a girl..." or talks about siblings he's never had or parents that are definitely not us. He's never straight up said "Before I was born when I lived with my first family, I died." or anything, but I'm now wondering if it's likely he had a life before this one? Ahhhh I don't fuckin know.

And lastly. You guys. My tattoo fucking ITCHES. Is this normal? I've had a lot of tattoos, and they've all taken about a week to get past the itchy, flaky phase. I've had this one for over two weeks now and it's shed more skin than a fucking boa constrictor. It's GROSS, dude. But hey, no one can ever tell me I'm not dedicated to my league, right? Right? Guys?